Written by Nikole Mitchell
CW: Religion, Sex Work
"I used to preach sermons, now I get paid to take off my clothes. And I've come to find that sex work and pastoral work have more in common than we realize.
We are raised in a world that likes to make things either/or. Either something is good or bad, right or wrong, black or white. We are often left feeling torn between two choices when there is something inside of us that craves a more nuanced option.
I'm a preacher-turned-top-Only-Fans-model where I make more money in one month than I used to make in a year. And I live in "the middle". I live where sexuality and spirituality collide, where faith and fetishes meet, where self expression and sexual fulfillment come together (no pun intended;). My private site is the most incredible space where both my fans and myself get to bring our whole selves to the table, with no part of ourselves being excluded.
It is deeply healing and liberating.
For far too long, people have had to choose either their spirituality or their sexuality, and it's left people feeling disconnected, disillusioned, and disappointed.
Because we are not one-dimensional! We are spiritual and sexual beings who were designed to live integrated, whole lives. When we are forced to pick only one part of ourselves, we end up feeling fragmented and frustrated. This is why the work I do is so powerful. It helps fill the need for spaces where all parts of ourselves are welcome.
I have been surprised and delighted to find that a lot of the skills I used in the church are the same ones I use in my adult work.
There is a hunger in humans to be seen, known, and loved. In my church, we sought to meet those needs with social gatherings, family activities, and a bond over similar religious beliefs. In my adult work, I seek to meet those needs with an emotional connection, ongoing conversation, and customized content. In both situations, I am seeking to meet that hunger within them: for them to be seen, known, and loved. To me that is holy work, work that changes lives.
A lot of people join my private site precisely because I come from the church. Some do it out of a religious kink. Others do it because they are seeking a life where they, too, can be fully expressed, embodied, and empowered.
I am often their first living demonstration of the both/and life in a public sphere: where I am both spiritual and sexual, respected and risque, wild and wise.
Being in my space, they often find the permission and power they need to go about creating that life for themselves, which makes me so happy. Because when one of us is free, we are all a little more free.
I want people to be the fullest expression of themselves. I want people to live their truth. I want their insides to match their outsides. I want there to be congruence in their lives. I want them to be who they came here to be, not who they think they need to be or who others wish they would be. I wanted that for my people when I was at my church, and I want that for my people who subscribe to my site.
I think this is why there are people of all ages, genders, and orientations on my site. To me it shows the collective hunger people have for spaces where they can bring their whole selves, and it makes me all the more honored to be doing the work that I do.
It is easy to judge my work as silly, selfish, or shallow, but to me, it is incredibly sacred and substantial.
My work is intimate and vulnerable, and beautiful things happen when people engage in intimate and vulnerable work.
Some of my fans have gone on to become life coaching clients and course students of mine. Some of my life coaching clients have gone on to create their own Only Fans website. I get to bear witness to the beautiful merging of people's lives, where they finally come home to themselves, honor their different desires and interests, and create a life that supports ALL of who they are, not just part of who they are. It shows how multi-faceted we are, and how, for the first time in history, people can be the fullest expression of themselves and be loved and be successful. We truly do get to have it all.
To me, this is sacred work. To others, it is transformative work. To the world, it is needed work. Where we no longer hide or fragment ourselves, no longer suppress ourselves or others, and we intentionally make space for all of us to be who we came here to be. A lot of beautiful things happen when that is the case, and a lot of beautiful things happen in my space. It is no less holy than the work I was doing in my church."
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